


you keep hurting people.

by reydishii



Category: Supernatural
Genre: ? - Freeform, Drabble, Episode: s13e23 Let the Good Times Roll, Gen, Jack still has his powers, Season/Series 13 Spoilers, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, a little different from canon, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 10:18:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15928388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reydishii/pseuds/reydishii
Summary: Jack keeps hurting people, and he figures that the best he can do is to take some of the pain for himself.





	you keep hurting people.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey,,,, it's been a while,,,
> 
> So, this is my first fanfic work in a few months, and it's only a drabble. I just finished S13 of Supernatural, and the out of the entire series, the only part that made me even tear up was the forest scene with Jack beating up on himself,,, maybe bc I'm projecting a little bit? Idk, but I wrote this and here we are. 
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy, thanks for reading!

Jack Kline, in his room.

Not doing much, just feeling himself, his _body_ , mapping out his form with his hands.

The softness of his hair after stealing some of Sam's shampoo.

The muscular firmness of his calves.

The dips in his collarbones, on his neck.

Exploring every little crevice, tracing over joints and nails and distinguishing the difference from muscles and fat, what areas caused goosebumps to run up his spine, what every inch of his skin felt like. 

As he traced fingers over his wrists, he couldn't help but remember of the people he's hurt, _killed_ , even. He's used those fists to send waves of his power towards them, to grip their necks tight, watch the light fade from their eyes. 

It disgusted him, sometimes. His _power_. Knowing he had the ability to kill someone or bring them back from an eternal void like he'd done with Castiel just with a mere thought was sometimes... overwhelming. 

To beat the rushing feeling of too many emotions battling it out inside him, he'd taken to playing whatever music he could find, and just touching. Feeling. Skin was a whole new experience for him, and the way that he could feel the contact both in the finger and in the place he touched was somewhat astounding. Arguably, the sense of touch was really one of his grandfather's greatest creations; next to humans, of course. 

He would feel his body for different reasons other than being overwhelmed, or to create a distraction. Sometimes, he'd do it for pleasure. Other times, it was for the exact opposite of that. 

He almost wished that he could kill himself- wished that he had the ability to die, stop healing himself involuntarily, stop bringing pain and suffering upon anyone he'd try to help. He wished he could rid himself of this bad luck, a curse that seemed to follow him; he wanted it _gone_. 

When he first realized that he was hurting those who he wanted to help, he had taken to hitting his chest and arms in a remote forest, a mild breakdown occurring soon after. "You keep hurting people!" He had thought-whispered-screamed in between sobs, trying to punish himself for what he'd done to a poor man in a convenience store. _Hurt yourself to make up for it_ , his brain seemed to supply, and he happily took the idea; it only seemed natural. 

So now, as his hands were running down his shoulders and his nerves would sing at the contact, he made sure to drag his nails in, give him, at the very least, some scratches that would sting when formed. 

It was fitting, really. He would make up for the pain of others by creating some of his own. It was liberating, he healed quickly- it was his only coping mechanism. 

And now, as Jack Kline was laying on his bed, in his room, arms painted with blood and ripped skin, the chant of "you keep hurting people," on his lips, he fell asleep, too tired to make up for more of the pain that he'd created.

**Author's Note:**

> feedback appreciated!


End file.
